It Smells Like Feet

So I was having this random conversation with my friend R (initials have been changed to protect the not so innocent), who considers himself an authority on all things Chinese.  This is despite the fact that he has never been to China, and his entire Chinese lexicon is made up of two phrases:  “Thank you” and “Your mother is a scabby whore”.

Somehow we got on the topic of durians, this being the second time in two days that durians have entered into a conversation of sorts — the other time was on my former boss’ Facebook page.

Anyway — the conversation went something like this:

Me: Do they eat durians in China?

R: Does who eat durians?

Me:  The Chinese…do they eat durians?

R:  Why would they eat durians in China?

Me:  I have no idea — I was just wondering about it.

R:  The climate in China isn’t suitable for growing durians, but they’re the largest importer in the world.

Me:  You just googled that, didn’t you?

R:  Um.  Yes I did.  My phone battery is dying and I have to go.

Believe it or not, this is probably one of the most important discussions I had during my workday.